I have officially been “done” with teaching for a week now and I think it has finally set in…I will no longer be returning to the halls of Sabin Elementary School, like I had been doing for the past 3 years. Instead, I will be embarking on a whole other journey…motherhood as a stay-at-home mom (of two)!

Looking back on the past three years there is one word I would use to describe teaching- exhausting! Each day felt so hard, and by 3:15 PM I was drained! The kids were unpredictable and as their teacher I had to adapt, accommodate and modify my lessons accordingly. There was rarely a moment during the day that allowed me to sit down and have a minute of peace by myself. I was always busy trying to figure out what I was teaching next, or rushing to a meeting, or figuring out how will I make _______ feel loved today. By the end of the day, I was spent.

It also didn’t help that the last month of school, I was woken up every 2 hours by thoughts of performance based tasks, math lessons, individual behavior plans, CCSS (Common Core State Standards), how is _______ going to be today, and my twenty-item sticky note of things to conquer before the 8:25 AM bell. While teaching has been very difficult at times, I will miss it and am forever grateful to have taught all the students I have had over the past three years (even the ones that made me want to pull my hair out). It has also pushed me to have better self-reflection and prayer life.

Every morning on my drive to school I would pray for growth in patience, love, faith and wisdom in order to be the best teacher, mom and wife possible for an imperfect girl like myself.   And as a result, I like to think that I have found the grace needed to strengthen my skillset as a wife, mother and friend. That being said, I wouldn’t have made it through those crazy first years without the help from my husband. He has given me such inspiration, especially on those days that were hard (and tiring). He always had a listening ear ready and would remind me of all the great things that I had already done to support this student or help that colleague. He also knew that I have wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom since before we were married, so on those really tough days he reminded me “Soon you will be at home…teaching our children.” Again, it’s not that I don’t love teaching, because I do. I just can’t help but have a strong desire to be a Mom. As God’s plan for us unfolds, it all just makes so much sense because I know that the Lord places these desires in our hearts. Teaching was my first vocation and has prepared me to be the best mom and wife possible.

That being said, here are some highlights of the past 3 years:

Favorite memory: During my first year, one of my most difficult students (to date) was staring down at my engagement ring and in complete awe said, “I just can’t believe you’re getting married.” The way she said it, I could tell she was completely star-struck and I pray that she finds someone that makes her say the exact same thing as she looks at her own ring.

Another great memory happened last year. I took my kids to specials (which is 40 minutes) and when I picked them up, one of my sweet little girls came up to me and said “Mrs. Doran! Your belly grew!” Apparently William was growing by the minuteJ!

My last favorite memory was the last week of school this year. Each day we popped a balloon that held a “fun” activity in it. The anticipation and joy on my students’ faces when it was time to pop a balloon was so inspiring. If I was going back next year, I think I would find a way to incorporate something like that into my daily lessons.

Greatest Challenge: Feeling inadequate on a daily basis. It is difficult witnessing the life challenges that my students face and knowing that no matter how hard I try, at the end of the day they must try to cope with the tough hand they were dealt on their own.

Insight: you can’t do everything. Unfortunately, you can’t incorporate fun, CCSS, and have the perfect lesson that allows each kid to meet the daily objective. There are times you need to figure out where are you going to get the biggest bang for your buck! And at the end of the day your faith and family should be your number one.

There is no doubt about, I will miss those “ah-ha” moments when something finally clicks in a student. It is one of the best feelings in the world and makes all those hard days so rewarding. I am so grateful to have this life experience and to say goodbye to all my students believing I made a small impact on their lives.   I know I will continue to pray for those kids for as long as I live. They have left just as much of an impact on me, as I have on them. Please keep my own kids (crazy we will have two in less than a month) and me in your prayers over these first few months as I navigate through this first year as a stay-at-home Mama.